139 posts from 2007

Lots going on, selling house, buying new place, juggling financing.

The usual

out

This Saturday evening, The good Miss Katy Goodwin, stubbornly slipped into death.

Well into her nineties, Miss Katy believed that a life lived well was one that was always busy. She was a strong and stubborn woman who fought for every scrap of life she experienced. I met her when I first moved up here, to New Hampshire. She lived at the bottom of the hill my parents house was on. Each day I would visit with her and her daughter and sip a cup of tea and watched as dough was kneaded, lace was tatted or some other type of work was being done.

She would often smile at my attempts to help them, you see after many years, they had a system and rhythm that just did not slow down for someone trying to learn what they had to teach. Instead I had to settle on bringing them my own works, they didn't make pie or cake very often, nor did they knit very much. So I made them pies and cakes, knitted up fancy purses and such. One year I made cinnamon ornaments and sent them a large batch.

Miss Katy never spoke a harsh word in my presence, though I am sure she often thought them. When planting season came along, I would walk down the hill to help them, even if they insisted they had everything covered. It wasn't so much as they needed help as it was that they were so peaceful in their work.  I simply wanted to share in that peace and contentment. Instead, Miss Katy would direct me to the wildflowers that abounded in the fields and request that I collect some for her vase.

When I married and moved away, I did not see Miss Katy and her daughter, Maxine, as often but ever in my thoughts, they would occassionally find parcels from me at Christmas time and if my parents requested a cheesecake from me, I would make a cheese pie for them as well.

To me, Miss Katy Goodwin was the kind of woman I hoped to be in my elder years. At the end of her life she decided she would rather die than to be useless. So, when the time came, she quietly said her goodbyes to everyone and lay on the hospital bed as her daughter patiently sat beside her. It was time, they both knew it.

Miss Katy

You are loved and my heart will always remember you.

It was a compunction that had no real reason. The sun was setting and the moon had begun to rise but all I could think was that I needed to drive. I'm not sure why I needed so desperately to get out and feel the motor rev and the vibration of wheels contacting the tar. I don't know why the compulsion made my hands shake as I grabbed the keys. I only know that I had to drive.

There was no thought of direction, it was more a need to speed up and feel the breeze flow through my window. My hair whipped into my eyes in fits and starts. Grumbling at the moments of blindness, I adjusted my window until the vortex was stemmed.

I drove through the Notch and mourned the Old Man of the Mountain as I passed the place where it had resided for millennium. Swirls of cloud pushed downward, curling like fingers ready to pick something up. As I drove through the clouds, they dissolved into soft phantasms. Soon only stars were above me as the valley disappeared in the distance.

The stars up here, look far different from the stars seen in cities and suburbs. Street lights and signs are not as prevalent, making the lights in the sky more visible and bright. I continued northward for hours and watched the moon slowly move higher in the sky. As I approached the Canadian border, the moon was high overheard, and suddenly the urge to drive dissipated. To one side of the road was a clearing, I pulled over and parked the car.

Taking the towel we keep in the back for the times we forget to bring one to the beach, I left the car and found a place to lay down. I looked up and watched the stars, I swear I could feel the earth as it moved through the cosmos. In awe I wondered how it was possible that the planet's gravity was so strong it kept all of us firmly planted on this tumbling rock.

As I watched the stars above, a dream came to mind and suddenly I found myself flying through the sky towards the great expanse above. Faster than the fastest thought imaginable, I sped outward and still the stars were no closer. Looking behind me, I saw the slightly oval earth. I could not look away. It was as if I were suddenly an astronaut, trying to describe a feeling that was too hard to express.

Phosphorous. That is the closest I can come to describing the edge of planet haloed against the light of the sun. Not soft and yet, so very bright and gradual as it grew deeper in color. So many colors, shades and textures. It amazed me how I could no longer tell pine from grass. Just variations upon a theme that evolved and changed as you looked upon it.

The world turned faster than I thought is would or perhaps it was me, I could not tell which. Small meteors moved past me, occasionally at first but gradually increased, heading towards the Earth.  I watched as some reached the atmosphere and heated up as they began the descent. As they blazed downward I suddenly snapped out of my wandering dream and watched the meteorite shower fall.

Show us your favorite character in the Harry Potter series.

I would say Neville Longbottom is my favorite character. Truly underestimated, I think he is kind, considerate and courageous in his own right. Brave in a quiet and unassuming way, he shows how the underdog can become a pillar of strength and support, even while battling his own demons.

Sorry, I don't have any good Pics to show you but hopefully my description does him justice.